Dear Sawyer,
This past May your soon-to-be grandmother had heart surgery. Leading up to the surgery I kept thinking about the “what ifs” even though I should have been trying to think positively. But I kept thinking . . . what if she doesn’t make it? My kids will miss getting to know their grandma. My first thought wasn’t that I would miss my mother, which of course I already knew I would. It was that my kids would miss their grandma and that thought made me very very sad.
I think this is mostly because I missed my grandma growing up. I lost my grandma Myrtle to cancer when I was only six-years-old. Although most people would assume that I was young enough not to remember – they are wrong. It was a crushing blow. Everything changed. At one point my grandma had been living with us while my mom took care of her. Then one day she wasn’t there anymore. It was confusing and I was hurting.
I found out a couple weeks after your grandma’s heart surgery that I was pregnant with YOU! I was so relieved that she made it through the surgery so she could meet her next grandchild.
I think the bond between grandparents and grandchildren is so special. You are very lucky in that you have two sets of grandparents who will love you and help take care of you. Not only will you have your grandma and papaw (my mom and dad) but you will have grandma Connie and grandpa Neil (your daddy’s mom and dad). Four whole people to love and spoil you.
I missed having a relationship with my grandma Myrtle and I didn’t often see my grandma Ruby. I hope your grandparents will live a long time so that they can watch you grow up into a lovely little lady. But when you lose one, which will one day happen, I can help you navigate that grief because I have been there. I now have no living grandparents, which makes me pretty sad. Because it’s such a fun relationship and grandparents just adore their grandchildren.
They are all very excited to meet you, my girl. They are all waiting just like I am to find out who you are and to spend time with you. How lucky you are to have so many people who will love and adore you when you arrive. I hope and pray you get to have them in your life for years to come.
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